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About Portmore

Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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After the rain, the sun comes back out, and it’s like a sauna. I decide to hit the beach. I mean, who wouldn’t? The water’s crystal clear, and I’m feelin’ good. I plop down on the sand, and this little kid runs by, kickin’ a soccer ball. He trips, and the ball goes straight into my drink. I’m like, “Seriously, kid?” But then he gives me this big ol’ smile, and I can’t help but laugh. Kids, man. They’re the best.

Speedway police investigating after person injured in shooting at apartment complex